


Where in the space was Carol Danvers?

by kytalpha



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Endgame, Captain Marvel (2019) Spoilers, F/F, F/M, Lesbians in Space, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-02-16 10:22:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kytalpha/pseuds/kytalpha
Summary: Have you wandered where in the space was Carol during infinity War? I did, that's the result.She met a girl before Avengers (2012), the rest is spoilers. Read it, it's short.





	1. Embracing the feeling.

Have you ever wandered where was Carol Danvers before the snap and in between the endgame? I have, and I imagined a story worth your time. 

 

Chapter I

“People always seem to think of me as insensitive and heartless, having some kind of lack of interest in such things. It is true actually, well, not so true, you see I care. I’m a really caring person but I can’t show it.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Weak.”

The window is open, letting a summer breeze entering inside the small room. The walls were colored blue and white, like those wooden beach cabins near the sea, except they were thousand and thousand light years away from that sea. She missed that.

“And I know the ‘love isn’t a weakness’ speech, but not being able to express it makes me feel weak.” 

“Are you in love miss Danvers?”

A hint of embarrassment hit Carol like nothing before, and she faced a lot in her life.  
Her mind got blank. All of a sudden she could smell brackish, sunscreen and vanilla. Carol found herself laying on the sand smiling and facing the sundown as a girl sat next to her and Carol placed her hand around her neck as she whispered something in her ear. 

“Miss Danvers, are you in love?” Asked again the therapist.  
“I could.” Carol answered.  
“But you won’t.” Finished the man.  
“What’s your name again?”  
“Ishtaar” answered the man.  
"Listen Ishtaar” began the Captain. “It’s not that I don’t want it, I can’t. Do you even know how your planet is still intact? Or the universe?” She stopped waiting for an answer. She was so angry at him. “Because of me. I keep it balanced. Sometimes I fail sometimes I don’t, but still I’m here fighting.” She paused again just to see Ishtaar face, and also to calm down. “I’ve sacrificed my heart to keep the universe balanced and to maintain peace between worlds. I asked for your help because I have a feeling inside my heart that something is wrong and I’m getting weaker.”  
"Carol I understand your anger but, don’t you think it’s time to face the reality?” He paused. “Don’t you think she deserves to know and to choose?”  
“I guess.” She answered.  
Ishtaar got up and showed the door to Carol. “Go to her."  
She followed his lead and got outside, she turned to him.  
"Her. How do you know?”  
He gave her “the look”, and she smiled back. She was going home.


	2. Reunite at last.

Chapter 2

As she landed she noticed that Earth was strange and she got a bad feeling about it, nevertheless she hoped for the best. She hoped nothing had happened to her loved ones while she was so many light years away from home, Carol couldn’t forgive herself if something had happened, and even Fury that had her pager. 

Carol landed in their place, where she used to live a happy life despite her powers and everything she went trough. It lasted so little, that she had only good memories, the best of them. It’s was peaceful, too much peaceful as she walked down to the shore starring at that greenish rough sea suiciding down at bank. Carol let the brackish inside her system and that made her feel at home again as she was transported back to that times.The sea was inside her shiny sad eyes. 

“Shit…” Exhaled. “And now who the fuck are you?” Said a voice behind her followed by the sound of a blade sliding her way out through the sheath.   
She recognized the pitch of that voice. It was the same pitch she used to whisper in her ear. It comforted her in her darkest nights and it helped her when she wasn’t used to let emotions prevail and was tormented by it. That same pitch she used to love hearing sing, recite poems in different languages, read novels and explain philosophy. It meant the world to the hero. 

Carol moved just in time, because the girl behind her didn’t wast time and throw a slash to her neck.  
She turned just to see her lover’s face for maybe one last time before getting killed, she wouldn’t lay a finger on that rose even if she tried to kill her. 

“Hi Juls.” Captain Carol “The Avenger” Danvers had tears in her eyes falling down to her cheeks while a shy smile appeared on her face exposing her emotions all over again.   
It was so uncomfortable for Carol exposing herself this much because of the Kree’s training.   
She saw Julia’s expression change as she let her katana fall down on the sand. 

Carol got close, slowly. She was afraid to speed up things, maybe she wasn’t ready, maybe she didn’t wait for her, maybe she had another partner… maybe she hated her. She needed to feel her close, to feel her heat, to feel her heart whole again. Hell was unleashed and her head was full of different emotions Carol had encountered so many years ago and banished as soon as she lifted off from earth that rainy November’s day. The Captain hugged her, and couldn’t stop herself from crying and smiling. She could smell again brackish, sunscreen and vanilla. Hiding her face down through her hair she felt safe again. 

Julia was just as beautiful as she could remember: her wavy dark ginger hair, her purple freckles like those strange nebulas near the Stardom system, her brown greenish almond eyes always smart looking, her pale soft skin and her in general.   
She had a Samurai’s armor on, so shiny and glorious with her wavy hair loose to her shoulders. Her red hair made contrast with her black armor, piking the alien blood covering her face.   
The Captain noticed she had a bruised cheekbone and a split bloody eyebrow, she managed to remain beautiful of course, but it let her to suspect that something wasn’t quite right: Julia was in the Order of Samurai and they only fight in extreme cases of emergency. Carol touched Julia’s cheekbone and her face showed worriment, because even if Julia was Carol’s protector, she was supposed to be hers despite the distance and managed to fail even at that. She promised that, and seeing her fighting, and injured made her feel so angry because she loved her so much that led to scarifying her happiness for her safety. She wasn’t safe having her around, for that sentiment -fear- she left and it broke her heart in two. Who knows for how long she had been fighting, she wasn’t safe with Carol around and even when she wasn’t.   
Julia placed her hands on Carol’s shoulder as she said a terrible thing that made their reunion tumble down to ashes. 

“You shouldn’t be here.”


	3. Antares Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every certainty is now an impossibility.

_Chapter III_

 

They broke the hug, but locked eye contact still remaining close. 

 

“Something is wrong, I know.”  
  
“Are you here for that?”  
  
“No.”

 

“Good.”   
  
Julia got close and kissed Carol. The Captain could feel the fire inside her heart burning again, like nothing has happened, like they still loved each other after all and the winter never came.  
In a universe that coded by chaos, the only thing that seems real despite its randomness is love, invisible, unconditional, weightless and so painful at the same time as it should be, and they made love that night, pure and endless love, as they could fell all over again.  
  
They held hands all the remaining night, watching the stars from the ceiling window.  
Carol explained Julia all about them.  


“See that little one?” 

“Yeah” The red head placed her head on the blonde’s lap, kissing her hand.   
“That’s Proxima Centauri, and that one is Betelgeuse, while that one is my favorite Antares. It means heart of the Scorpion, and it’s funny since it could be you.”  
“Why is that?” Julia asked.  
“I’m a Scorpio” She paused. “If you want to, I mean… I know, I know what I did. I’m aware of i-“ Carol stopped. “Why are you smiling?”  
“I know why you did it, Fury told me.”  
“Son of a-“  
“But” Julia interrupted Carol. “because of everything that’s going on I’m just glad to see that you’re alive.”  
“Wait, what happened?”  
“As a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, I know that there’s a force in space more powerful than everything we have faced so far, that goes beyond your jurisdiction.” She stopped, preparing to drop the bomb. “He already has 2 of the Infinite Stones. Who knows, maybe he could have found them all by now.”  
  
Julia begin to cry as she spoke those last words. It’s more terrifying than she thought, but Fury got her pager why didn’t he call Carol? Something must have happened. 

 

“Hey, Jul” She took her hands in hers. “look at me.” They stared at each other drowning in each other's eyes. “Nothing is going to happen. I owe it to you, I actually owe you the universe. I love you Julia Deirdre Darmian, and I’ll do everything in my power to protect you.” She kissed her forehead. “I won’t let anything happen to you, I swear.” The blonde hugged the ginger for a while. 

  
“Carol?”  
“I’m here.”

“I think I’m dying.”  
The length of her hair was slowly turning to ashes, as the green flags of the trees die, waving in the death summer’s wind her skin turned from light pink to grey and started to dissolve.  
She gently placed a hand on Carol’s face, starring at her one last time as tears started to stream down her cheeks. As blonde touched her hand it dissolved slowly leaving behind only grey and black putrid ashes.  
  
“I'll never get tired looking at you.” Julia tried to touch Carol's face, but her hand dissolved into ashes as soon as it touched her skin.   
  
“Please! Please! Don’t leave me!” She cried out while Julia’s face was fading away.  
  
Carol was alone, in their cabin, in their bed. Crying like she never did before. Her tears dropped down to Julia’s ashes.  
  
“You where supposed to be my Antares.”

 

Her pager bipped. 


End file.
